Picking the South bracket, the Hair Gel way

(1) Ohio State (30-3) vs. (16) Central Connecticut State (22-11) - Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden Greg Oden

(8) Brigham Young (25-8) vs. (9) Xavier (24-8) - You know what they say: Never bring a mormon to a basketball fight. Or something like that. Xavier's a good shooting club, and they hit the boards well enough to outscore BYU. Xavier wins.

(5) Tennessee (22-10) vs. (12) Long Beach State (24-7) - Upset alert! Nobody, I mean nobody is talking about LBSU pulling this one off, which is weird. You see, Tennessee was 6-10 away from home, and only one of those six wins was against a tournament team (Arkansas). The Pearls of Bruce aren't that good away from Knoxville (where they kicked some serious ass). Long Beach State is flying far enough under the radar that nobody is predicting an upset--that's great news. I'm telling you, LBSU is freaking dangerous.

(4) Virginia (20-10) vs. (13) Albany (23-9) - Hey, Virginia won 4 games away from home all year. One of those was against P.R. Mayaguez, and only one of the others was against a tourney team (Maryland). Nobody is giving Albany any chance at all. You thinking what I'm thinking? Upset alert! Yessir, the second round will feather LBSU and Albany duking it out for a spot in the Sweet Sixteen. It'll be glorious.

(6) Louisville (23-9) vs. (11) Stanford (18-12) - There is absolutely nothing about Stanford that makes me think they belong in the tournament. Nothing at all. Lousy on the road, limped into the tournament with a 4-6 mark, low RPI... So I'm picking them. Classic trap game. Those crafty Stanford Trees have Louisville right where they want them.

(3) Texas A&M (25-6) vs. (14) Pennsylvania (22-8) - Penn is going to get slaughtered by TAMU. The Ivy is a fucking joke of a conference, and Penn didn't even have to withstand a tournament at the end of the year to get their mettle up. We're looking at about 78-45, Ags.

(7) Nevada (28-4) vs. (10) Creighton (22-10) - Nick Fazekas will celebrate his 29th birthday and third consecutive B.A. from the University of Nevada at midcourt during halftime, then proceed to beat Creighton single-handedly. Seriously, the guy's been there since the mid-nineties.

(2) Memphis (30-3) vs. (15) North Texas (23-10) - I know it'll never come true, but what I wouldn't give for Memphis to actually be playing Texas State, who starts Sinbad, Kathy Ireland, and point guard Scott Bakula. I would cheer for the Fightin' Armadillos. For sure. Anyhoo, the Grizzlies win on a huge night from Mike Miller.