Tuesday, March 27, 2007

My name is Deke, and I run this joint

OPS invited me to contribute around here. I took him up if only to subvert a blog and turn this mother inside out. The beginning of the revolution is an incredibly long introduction.

As I've mentioned to OPS, I treat "tha Gel" as an extension of the Hawks Nest Online, which is the greatest assembly of sports fans known to exist. It's a tightly knit community of ladies and gentlemen who have collectively suffered and triumphed through the past 8 years of Hawkeye sports while swapping stories, recipes, and death threats.

The posts at HNO will introduce their reader to a myriad of young retards and old curmudgeons. Among these men and women number nutjobs who, for example, swear that Bullitt is and was the greatest movie ever made, compose flowery lyrics proclaiming sweet love for the varied daughters of Kirk Ferentz, claim to own the marketing rights to all uses of the term "Alfraud," attempt to convince others Hilary is a flat-out awesome candidate, or use words like "vituperative" without batting an eye. It's quite a collection.

It is a sliver of HNO's heterogeneity that I hope to bring to "tha Gel," because let's face it: when it comes to OPS and Buddy, things can become frightfully homogeneous, if you detect what I did back there and are consequently privy to my insinuation as to their sexual orientation. Furthermore, I hope that my appearance is encouragement to HNO folks to come over here and pollute OPS's comments section with assorted musings and unnecessary name calling. Why the hell not?

Finally, I can't say how frequently or with what effect I will post to this blog. I don't know that I have many more things to say about our dear, departed hoosier**. Instead, I'll remain in my HNO mode and ring in on a few things Hawkeye and maybe introduce a few Lifestyle posts into the mix, such as:

  • Charming anecdotes from my garden
  • A profile of the kid on my Babe Ruth team that made out with some Iowa City skank at the '85 Spring Game in Kinnick and wound up getting herpes because he got mouth sores right after (at least that's what my neighbor Shane said at the time)
  • An ode to the purity of video pong
  • Pictures of the dashing figure of J. Hayden Fry
  • A link to some incredibly hot yet tasteful elephant porn.
Beyond the sky, the only limit here is the patience of the proprietor of this mofo, one OPS, aka Big Baby Herky, aka Herk McSquirt. That is all.


**HAHA. Of course that's a lie. I will never, ever tire of the secretary jokes. Ever.

2 comments:

Sated Cow said...

Just when you thought this joint couldn't be any seedier...

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Ah, you may be a sated cow, but who feeds you, Cattle?